This will be quick. That’s pretty much all it deserves; this has to be one of the most thrown-together and emotionally unsatisfying series finales in recent history, especially for a show that was supposed to be all about emotion, and all about characters you care about (it says here).

But never mind: it’s been weeks since the penultimate episode, and really, seriously, nobody much cares about the end of Believe. Still: we started it. We’ll finish it. Because, well, you know … Bo.

The first fifteen minutes is just recap, which the devoted follower of this recap already knows: Bo has split from Milton Winter and Roman Skouras; she and Tate are trying to make a quick exit. Dani, the Anit-Bo, has left Skouras as well, and is looking to find and kill Bo. Milton and Skouras meet to remind us of all that (hey, it’s been weeks). Bo and Tate, meanwhile, just happen to run into a former friend of Dani’s at a truck stop, where a vision of Bo’s Mom makes her talk to the friend, vibe on her jewelry, and see what damage Dani’s already done – like dropping a bookcase on her brother some time earlier, killing him.

During the first of many, many commercial breaks (hey, somebody’s got to pay for all those CGI butterfly shots!), we realize that Milton has the key to re-finding Bo and ending this all before it begins. All he has to do is tell Skouras they put a ‘block’ in his Bo-detector system (remember a few weeks ago?), have him take it out, and they can find Bo the next time she uses her powers. Let’s see, once we’re back, if that comes up.

It doesn’t. In fact, it’s never even mentioned. Even the whole “just happens” coincidence of meeting Danis’ friend is quickly discarded: Bo’s on the case now. Dani is in a graveyard, weeping over he dead brother while Winter and Skouras go to visit the (supposedly) invalid Channing, who loos much better, thank you). Their plan? Hypnotize Channing. Why? Because – hey, brand new information, just like the “degrade” introduced just last week. Apparently if one of the Special People like Bo or Dani reads you, they take an imprint and can always find you. Whoa, really? Never been mentioned before. So now Channing, once again pulled from her sickbed, will be live bait for Dani. Dani, meanwhile – whom they just said couldn’t find Bo – has somehow, without help, found Winter’s old safehouse, which she blows up for spite using her Firestarter powers.

More commercials…and yes, it looks as if the locater-machine and the block has been forgotten. You’d think Channinng would remember, if nobody else, since planting that block is what got her caught and ultimately shot during a prisoner exchange lo, these many weeks ago. But nooo…

Instead, back from commercial, Bo sees a Special Report of TV about a burning building Brooklyn – ’cause that ‘s major news, a burning abandoned building in New York City. Meanwhile, we are reminded that Tate has turned into a major pussy the last couple of episodes. He’s a total Bo-head (Bo-Ho?) now, and he easily, immediately, abandons his plans to flee the country (like he could get away with it anyway) because .. you know, Bo wants him too, and her visions of her Mom just seal the deal. (‘Cause normal kids her age, especially under stress, never dream about their recently deceased Moms. They would be, you know, weird.)

Tate was never a really well-formed character in this series, always see-sawing between bitchy and openly, self-destructivley rebellious. He wasn’t particularly bright, he wasn’t crafty or a good fighter, and the supposed chemistry between him and his daughter never quite materialized, but at least he had some grit. The new Tate is just as useless, but now he’s soft, too. Just a soft-spoken follower, while his status as America’s Most Wanted seems to have been forgotten completely. (There’s not even a single line of dialogue to explain how he plans to leave the country if he’s a federal fugitive. Never mind. Nobody cares.)

So: Winter hypnotizes Channing and instructs her to “let Dani find you,” which she conveniently does. Even as her rashes get worse, Dani’s drawn to their rendezvous point a shack on a pier…someplace. But apparently Dani’s internal locator isn’t that good … only a dummy of Channing is there, and Dani is trapped in the shack just long enough for a ton of knock-out gas is poured in. Of course it doesn’t work; Dani’s too powered for that. She is immune to the gas; the bad-guy henchman Zepeda is sent in to get her, and that doesn’t work (and that’s the last we ever see of him: b’bye, Z!): Dani confronts poor, sick Channing, gets no satisfaction, and mind-rapes Winter instead. Ten seconds later, she, announces that Winter’s phone can track Bo (what? If that’s true, what’s with all the rigamarole to trap Dani?). And what does Dani do, armed with the crucial new information and the phone in question? She… leaves. She doesn’t even really hurt Roman or Channing or Winter though she’s supposed to rully, rully hate them, she just walks out to find Bo with the phone without so much as another word to any of ’em.

Is this making any sense at all? No, not really,but to reiterate: clearly nobody cares if it does. At least nobody at NBC. Still, onward…

Bo vibes enough on Dani (don’t ask how, there’s no explanation given except .. you know, Bo) and is led to the now-abandoned institution where Dani went after she killer her bro. Bo doesn’t go directly to Dani, of course, that would bring on the confrontation far too quickly, but to the abandoned school instead. Remember, in the world of Believe, the Northeastern U.S. Seems to be madr up of nothing but abandoned warehouses and homes with no locks. It’s been that way for weeks).

As we stagger though another trio of commercials, it’s worth noting that the entire supporting cast has been abandoned, forgotten, or rendered powerless. Where’s the government task force? Where’s the huge resources of Orchestra? Where’s Winter’ original organization, strong enough to break Tate out of a federal prison. Gone, gone gone – no they’re just chasing around the super-villain girl and whining.

Bo has (incorrectly) vibed that all Dani wants is for her dead brother to forgive her for killing him. In fact, Dani has since become crazier than a shit-house rat and is bent on killing Bo herself. (How do these two things relate? Her guilt over killing her brother and her obsessive hate for this strange girl she’s never actually met? They don’t really relate at all, but never mind. Nobody cares. Besides, this darn clairvoyance, it’s SO unpredictable in Bo-World. In fact, its unpredictability is one of the few consistent things in the series.)

Dani shows up: it’s time for the ‘final’ confrontation (and boy is Dani all rash-y now!). She’s also in full Firestarter mode, complete with wind and lightning and thunder. But wait; Dani isn’t going to kill her. She’s just going to … take her to Dr. Skouras? To show that she’s not worth his love? What? Didn’t she just walk away from Dr. Skouras at the boat house a few minutes ago, without so much as a word to him? Anway…off they go.

Meanwhile – whoa, sideswipe! Some kind of dude is found dead in a public place with a whole bunch of top secret Orchestra documents. Apparently Dani, off camera, has killed some kind of Orchestra staffer so the secret of its existence will be revealed (not that we saw any of this; that’s just what Skouras thinks). And even though they specifically say the papers didn’t leak, and even though Skouras has shown virtually supernatural ability to manipulate the media and government and suppress knowledge of Orchestra in the past, this time, even the threat of this getting out is enough to shut down Orchestra forever. Dismantle it. Destroy everything. We’re done. (Not because this makes any sense, of course. Only because it’s the last show of the series, and you have to deal with the massive internatoinal corporate/government conspiracy thing you’ve hinted at for weeks but never really explained. Oh, and what about this second, covert Orchstra that Skouras is supposed to have, the one we heard about a couple of weeks ago? Never mentioned again. Never mind.)

Tate, meanwhile, seems to have forgotten everything that happened last episodes/a few hours ago. With Bo kidnapped, he calls in Winter and Channing (another interesting conversation we don’t get to see). Winter makes some more pompous pronouncements to fill a couple of minutes, ten says, “I think I know where Dani’s taking Bo.” based on…what, exactly? Not that it matters: Dani already told us: she screamed it at Tate before she took Bo away.

MORE commercials, giving us a moment ot realize this last episode isn’t revealing anything, really, it’s just running in smaller and smaller circles until the hour’s up. All the set-up is forgotten, Bo’s grand destiny is irrelevant, Skouras’ sins are forgotten, the FBI Task Force isn’t even mentioned, Channing’s sacrifice is ignored. It’s all down to Anti-Bo kidnapping Pro-Bo and taking he to Skouras to kill her. That’s all we’re gonna get.

Cut to the nearly deserted Orchestra compound. Skouras is obediently destroying the entire program – not hiding it, not moving it, but destroying it because Dani might reveal it somehow. Later. Sometimes. Even though she’s nuts, unconnected, and y’know, dying. Fast. Moments after Skouras dismisses his last minion – thankfully moments before he can break into a karaoke version of “All By Myself” – Dani, with Bo in tow, shows up in the control room. Even though Skouras knows Dani’s still on the loose and homicidal, apparently the first people he laid off was the security staff, though looking back over the weeks, he’s never been good at security. (Oh, and that whole plot-thread with his traitorous colleague, and all the other kids he’s befriended, trained, kidnapped – whatever? Never mention. Nobody cares.) Anyway: the all-powerful Dani still isn’t ready: she just ties up Skouras and Bo (’cause that would work with Bo, right?) untl Winter and Tate show up a few minutes later. Now everybody’s here for the obligatory scene. (That’s what we call the scene at the end of bad detective novels, where the sleuth brings the whole cast into the sitting room so the plot can be explained.) Dani leaves them all there in the control room and just…walks out. Not even a big final speech, she just…walks out, psychically locking all the door and reinforcing the windows as she goes. She even fogs up the glass so no one (like, you know, the audience) can see what she’s doing, but apparently she’s setting fire to the entire compound, as we’ll discovered later.

Meanwhile, in the control room, Bo tries to bust ’em out, but can’t do it – not until she has a vision of her Mom, who repeats the “Dani just wants to be forgiven; you can save them all.” (Why hasn’t Mom shown up as a guardian angel at any of the other life-threatening moments in the last twelve episodes? Don’t ask. Nobody cares.) The whole association of Dani’s muder-guilt about her brother and its connection to her Bo and Roman-obsession really doesn’t make a lot of sense, but never mind, we’re on a roll here, and the clock is ticking. The psychic visitation and the literal hand-holding of the parental units gives Bo the zotz to de-fog the windows and open the doors. What a gal. (Tate never actually gets to see the mother of his child, Bo’s Mom, in this sequence, despite his deep and often expressed love for her. Another nice little scene that wouldn’t have cost them a dime extra to write or film, but…everybody say it together: NOBODY CARES.)

Tate gives Bo a final, choked ‘I love you’ speech, completing the single least convincing or attractive character-conversion ever. Skouras, Winter, and Channing don’t even speak – clearly, Kyle McLachlan has checked out at this point, and Delroy Lindo is looking for the door. Without a word, they all let Bo leave the room alone to confront Dani. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. They just spent the whole series trying to protect her from harm, abut now…ahh, never mind, this is the way Bo wants it, and we just want it over.

Bo finds Dani standing in the courtyard, all alone. She’s gone total Firestarter, whipping up a flame-tornado to stand inside, conveniently yet inexplicably far away from all the people she wants to hurt. But now, passively following Bo, everybody comes out to watch the immolation, but not to help – nobody’s talking now, what’s the point? Bo has to do this on her own, Tate says. Can she talk Dani down? Dani seems to be the only one who thinks this whole plot lie is fulla crap — “Your mom told you?” – so she tightens up the fire-nado…which Bo, of course, can walk straight into without being harmed.

Bo takes Dani’s hand. They vibe. Dani’s fire goes out, and she falls into li’l Bo’s arms. Dead? Nah … Bo brings her back to life! Cures her degrade-rot! Another new power! Because “Everybody deserves a second chance,” Bo says. Oooh. How…ironic?

Time for the wrap-up. We have a repeat of last week’s good-bye scene with Milton – seriously, the same scene, where he lets her go because “you don’t need me any longer.” Except that Skouras is still alive and apparently going to get away with the whole Orchstra things, all those other kids are still out there, Dani’s still alive, Tate’s still wanted, and the FBI’s still looking for him, and Bo is still an undertrained loose-cannon pre-teeen messiah in a t-shirt. Nothing has changed, people, not since Episode One. Nothing. So…how is it she doesn’t need him anymore? Whatever: they have to go – Now, NOW! (What’s the hrury?) Oh: Skouras’ compound is burning. This is the Firestarter thing we didnt’ see earlier. So as this whole messy, disappointing tangle ends, Bo and Tate are back where they started: in the nice new car they somehow acquired (where did that come from anyway?), all on their own, bickering with each other – but affectonaely bickering now, so that’s better, maybe heading south to Ixtapa, maybe not. And…scene.

Really? That’s it? No big final scenes with Winter or Channing or – most of all – Skouras, even though we’ve been following them for weeks? No. In fact, Channing and Skouras don’t even have a line of dialogue in the last ten/fifteen minutes. It’s just one final shot of the CGI butterly we’ve been working so hard to ignore for the last twelve program hours, and it’s b’bye, Bo.

And really, seriously: nobody cares.

It’s been…fun? No, actually, it has, in a weird way. So what should we recap next? Maybe something good this time. Hmm…Dominion is starting in a couple of weeks…hmmmm…