Maybe CBS feels like there isn’t enough really bad science fiction and horror in the world, so they feel compelled to supply even more. We can’t think of any other reason that the network would renew the horribly decayed corpse of Stephen King’s novel for a third season, or the pseudo-touchy-feely Spielbergian aimlessness of the Halle Berry fake-alien-pregnancy vehicle. But they’ll both be shambling around again next summer. Why, CBS? WHY?

Yes, yes, we know that Mr. King himself has endorsed this show, and who are we to disagree. But really — Steve, Steve, look us right in the eye and tell us you actually think that second season was any good? Aimless, arbitrary stupid single-episode plots; characters whose personalities would change week to week; plot threads started, stopped, dropped and contradicted on a regular basis, and people moving in and out of the dome over and over, rendering the whole eerie effect of the idea itself… well, dead. And now we get a third season! Ohhh, joy. There’s really nothing CBS could come up with that would dobetter than the downward slide of UTD2?

And then there’s Extant. It didn’t even have the benefit of a first season that showed some promise. Halle Barre’s spongy psuedo-sci fi space vehicle couldn’t maintain that through a single episode, and the downsloping ratings confirmed it. So you have to wonder: what was/is CBS thinking? Is there some kind of two-season pay-or-play deal with Halle here? Some kind of political reason to keep the producers happy because they’ve got a bigger, better show in the mix? It can’t be because it has a fan base, or Emmy potential, or simply a hunger for a good story. Because this story makes no sense, the acting is flatter than a French crepe, and quite basically nobody cares. 

And yet… both of them will be back next summer, fillinng two of the precious few hours of original, scripted programming offered on the network for May to September.

Sometimes we weep for humanity. In fact, we’ve scheduled an hour of weeping for 11:00 pm California time today. Please join us.