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doctor strangeLet’s get serious: there are, what, a few hundred thousand people — at most — who know anything at all about Dr. Stephen Strange, the Sorcerer Supreme of the Marvel Universe beyond, well, “Dr. Strange.” So nit-picking about how non-canonical and, in some cases, inexplicably weird the the first real trailer for the new film, Dr. Strange, might be is…well, cripplingly geeky.

So in terms of the mass market — the recreationally ignorant who have loved the Marvel movies so far — this is … okay? Very pretty. Great effects. But if there’s a story in here, it’s pretty invisible. Weird to hear Sherlock/Smaug talking in an American accent, and what’s with the old bald lady, but okay. We don’t really know what it all might mean, Mr. Natural, but it could be cool. Maybe. Meh.

For the minority who know there Eye of Agamotto from their Crimson Rings of Cyttorak (look it up!), this whole thing is even more off-putting. Turning the venerated Ancient One, a mail Asian for the last fifty+ years, into a female Anglo — even Tilde Swinton — is not only odd, but entirely unnecessary. It’s clearly his origin story, told wildly out of order, but, so far, that’s all it is. No other characters, no conflict. No Mindless Ones, no Dormammu, no Nightmare, and if Rachel McAdams is supposed to be Clea, how did she get from the Dark Dimension to an ER, and where’s her double-spit-curl silver hair? Come on. Meanwhile that one shot of Eilfor as (supposedly) Baron Mordo means noting. The mutton-chopped bully-wizard of the comics is now just a guy with a sword (a sword) who walks away.

The production design and the special effects are obviously top-drawer, but there’s no really “Strange” there. No floating islands with flames up their butts. The costume’s just a cloak now (I miss the leopard-skin lining). And the “other worlds” they show us include a clockwork corridor I swear we’ve seen before and a real misstep: an M.C. Escher floating cityscape that makes everybody think Inception and nothing else. As for the hinted-at story of self-discovery as opposed to mystic warfare between jalous wizards? Really, folks: who cares. I know all I need to know about cinematic self-discovery. I saw Bill Murray in The Razor’s Edge. Twice.

It’s not all over. The jury — or in the case, the Living Tribunal — is still out. But take a look at the trailer and then join me in a group-chant that sounds remarkably like “meh” …